It’s been a month. Exactly a month since my last post and I can’t believe it. First of all, it’s good to be back. Second of all I’ve been dreading this post and procrastinating it because I don’t know where to start. Life is so good!
In the past month, I got married to the best man in the world, went on a 2 week honeymoon to Hawaii, fully moved in to our new condo, and went back to work full time while adjusting to the fact that I’m married, it was awesome and our wedding is now over. (If you missed it, head on over to instagram and check out #joshandmaureen.)
Part of me wishes that I took time out while we were in Hawaii to write down every single thing that I was feeling. All the emotions and gratitude and excitement.
But the other, sane part of me knows that I did the right thing by taking a break from being plugged in and spending an uninterrupted two weeks with my husband. (It’s still weird to say!)
So now that I’m back, and had time to just feel everything and process everything, I’m going to do my best in the next month or so to capture all those wonderful things that happened with the wedding and honeymoon. I want to remember it all. Do any of you who are recently married feel that way? I feel like if I don’t spend some time thinking through the wedding each day that I’ll forget everything. I want to remember and cherish each little detail. But it’s so hard. This was the most monumental and most amazing day of my life and it feels now like it went by in a blink. I think back on it and it was like a movie I watched.
But I want to remember that it was real. Because it was. It was better than perfect. It was ours.
I have never been filled with so much love and gratitude as I was on our wedding day. And even in the week leading up to it! Standing there saying my vows to Josh surrounded by all of our friends and family from near and far was such a surreal and overwhelming experience. I remember sitting in the church during mass looking around at all of the faces that were there for us and just feeling their love. I could feel it. Like it was radiating at me. It was a miracle. Truly. We are so blessed to be so loved and the whole day was full of it, generously being poured out on us from everyone in our lives. I am overwhelmed by this love right now even recalling it to memory. And even more grateful for it.
I always thought that I would be nervous on my wedding day. I don’t mean ‘everyone will look at me and I’ll feel uncomfortable’ but like really nervous about committing. I thought I would feel like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride – not because I wouldn’t love my groom but because I was scared of failing at marriage. I just knew that I would have to calm myself down and talk myself through the doubt.
But another miracle happened on my wedding day – I felt none of that doubt. I know this may seem trivial to those of you who don’t know me personally but I overanalyze everything. I pick good things apart and I worry. Oh I am a worry machine. And I have always wanted a good marriage more than anything but been incredibly scared of failing at that dream.
On our wedding day however, I felt excited! I woke up and promptly jumped on the bed like an idiot. All day I was anxious about details and logistics but never once about Josh. Never once. I was so excited to see him and to hold his hand and to say vows linking myself to him forever and pledging my love and fidelity. I always thought I would be scared to actually get married but I was not scared to marry Josh. I was so excited and so grateful.
As I walked down the aisle my eyes were locked on him. I knew my Dad would guide me and keep pace and I had his arm tightly wrapped around mine. But my eyes never left Josh. He is the greatest gift that God has ever given me. My love, my partner, my husband.
Our wedding was an experience that I will never be able to fully describe in words. And it was more than I could have ever wished for.
I am delighted to share with you all the joys of our wedding. Please come back to see more pictures and hear more stories. 🙂